Work, money, and life SUCKING

so, the other day, i had this "ah ha" realization that I have always thought work should SUCK. it's so natural for me to believe that, that i honestly had trouble believing any other point of view could exist. does anyone else feel this way??

i have memories of my dad coming home from work, honestly looking like he was beaten up...and then getting up the next day, and going back for more. jeez, how PAINFUL to watch each and every day as a child! he was always a proponent of the idea that "work is hard", "life is HARD", and basically that it all pretty much SUCKS. not ALWAYS, mind you, but just most of the time. and ESPECIALLY if you ever wanted to make enough money to survive...then it was going to be painful...

so, i guess i didn't really think about that much as i grew up until i started working. and, in some cases (like when i worked as a personal trainer at 24 hour fitness, aka hell on earth), it really did seem to fit. I made $22,000 my first year out of college...my god, is a college education only worth $22,000?! i was happy, but i was definitely not feeling confident in my money situation. savings? i had no idea what that was...besides saving credit on my card to buy groceries...oh, and a cat ;-) haha

in this past year, however, i have found myself really enjoying work...i mean really enjoying it. and i'm making a pretty good living. AND, in the past year, i have also pursued other passions, like volunteering for a breast cancer awareness group, teaching yoga, running a marathon, and starting a tshirt company. :-) yay! haha...it really all makes me feel like smiling :-) and yelling "yay!" apparently ;-) but, all joking aside, i really love it all! and somehow it all fits in, and i feel happy as I pursue it all...

this week, however, i had a dead on "straw that broke the camel's back" experience...to a tee. one thing at work went not as planned, and all of the sudden I felt my smile fade, and work started sucking. i mean REALLY SUCKING! i felt like i looked like my dad when i got done with work- worn out and wearied by a painful, long, and unfulfilling day at work. and, just like that, my enjoyment for work crashed to the ground...i spiraled...and i came back to my belief that "work is hard", "life is hard", and pretty much "everything suuuuccccckkkkssss!".

wow, what an effect a belief can have on you! it's almost worth laughing about...! so little changed, but, all the sudden, my entire reality changed. the positive feelings i had about work, and my LIFE as a woman pursuing her career completely faded into a nasty ball of dark icky feelings...i felt pressured to work, pressured to suffer, and pressured to be something for someone else just because...well, that's the way life is, HARD, PAINFUL, and SUCKY!!

well, here's what i say to that: F THAT PERSPECTIVE. i felt it's pull...i sank into despair...but i refuse to let it define me anymore. dad, i love you, but your belief about life is just not suiting me anymore...and i have decided to change it...here's what i came up with:

"it is easy to grow my career and make positive contributions to others by following and doing what i love."

BAM.

May seem simple...but it was like the golden key that unlocked me from my self created prison...and now...i'm BACK. :-)

i CHOOSE this belief. i CHOOSE. :-)

to work, money, and life manifesting my true love :-) yay!