the runners high, and the soundtrack to life

i like wine...A LOT.

i can't yet say i'm a wine "snob" per se...because, unfortunately, i am still buying the 10 dollar bottle of wine i find in my building's convenient store...BUT, i'm not a lost cause all together.  my boss, more recently, has discovered that i like wine also.  and because he IS actually verging on wine snob, he has brought me into his passion for wine with gusto.  office meetings that do not include wine are definitely more surprising than ones that do (in all honesty, i cannot remember the last time an office meeting did not include SOME type of alcohol...!).  but, all joking aside, what i really like about it is that he actually really LIKES wine...i mean, not just the buzz you get from it, but, actually the entire wine "experience".  he likes the history, the story of the wine's creation, the subtle tastes you may miss if you just guzzle it quickly without thinking.  he's an avid support of the decanter, he's a sniffer, a swirler, a "hold it in your mouth" kind of wine drinker.

i've started to appreciate wine differently in the past year, but, can still definitely say that the warmth, the buzz, that i get from wine is still probably my largest motivator for drinking it.  and, the more i like it for other reasons as well, the more i find myself daydreaming about that perfect glass of red i will be drinking later with dinner...or, maybe in my office, prior to going home...and the way my day will melt away as i slowly sip that delicious drink :-)  oooh...delicious!  what a wonderful experience!  it seems sometimes that nothing could be better.

but, today, while i ran, in maybe another zen of marathon training moment of clarity (although of slightly less profound meaning...), it came to me, "this is WAY better than wine!"...wait wait WAIT michelle...hold on a second...don't get ahead of yourself...think about what you are saying right now...SLOW DOOOWWWN with this crazy talk

but it was true!  i felt AMAZING!  i honestly felt the best i have probably felt in weeks! i was breathing heavy, sweating, floating along the streets of chicago.  so alert, yet so relaxed...it was such a high!  i looked down at my garmin and realized i was running a SEVEN minute mile and was feeling great...WHAAATT.  (this may be normal for some of you...but this is definitely not the case for me).  i felt such a flow...like, a complete absence of resistance...just there, in that exact moment, soaking it up.  and the only thing i could immediately relate it to was that initial buzz i get with wine.  when suddenly it seems that everything melts away, but instead of melting away from you, it's like it melts INTO you or something, and you are completely soaked in the moment...just flowing with it.

so, wow...that's why people like drugs...and that's why i like running.

but, before i start tooting my own horn about how i'm so "healthy" and so not into that "drug" thing...let me first digress and reminisce about some things that immediately came to mind from my past.  and, yes, they all include marijuana...and probably lots of alcohol...and, oftentimes, some blackjack dessert pizza... ;-)  which was always amazing...honestly, it never got old.  oh college...the only time in life when completely inappropriate behavior is completely appropriate.  gotta love it ;-)

so, in college, i dated a complete music addict.  he was that kid wearing the huge bose headphones before it was cool to wear bose headphones.  and, he was a stoner.  shocker...right??  i can honestly say, i had never before and have never since spent as much sincere time and energy on constructing the perfect mix as i did in college with drew.  he loved it...and he honestly ROCKED at it.  and then we discovered the splitter...the handy electronic that allowed us both to listen to the same music at the SAME EXACT TIME on headphones.  this was probably a stoner's dream come true...and i was COMPLETELY on board...

walking around the colorado campus at night with headphones on, the crisp mountain air, and the buzz of a buzz...i honestly thought i was having religious moments.  and maybe i was!  i was in the "soundtrack of life", completely consumed by the music, the surroundings...completely in the moment.  i think back to that, and have vivid pictures of drew and i catching eyes while walking, our eyes lighting up, and immediately exploding into a contagious giggle of pure excitement...it was just that amazing...ha!

i think it's pretty rare to find those moments when your inner life just seems completely in sync with the world around you...but, my god...when you feel it, it truly is amazing.  drugs and alcohol get you there...and i can't lie that i feel i've had some pretty amazing experiences with that too...but they also cloud.

the high i got from my run today stayed with me for HOURS.  i taught an amazing yoga class afterwards...still flowing...and connected with more of my students than ever before.  it was such a heartwarming, giving, and loving experience for me.  it came from such a place of fullness within me that i was almost shocked i was capable of it.

FLOW.  SURRENDER.  such easy words to say, but so difficult to actually embody.  that perfect glass of wine, or the high of marijuana help us shed our thoughts of resistance and open our eyes to the present.  but without wine or weed, the natural flow we crave may seem less possible...

running, the runner's high, meditation...what amazing forces these have been in my life.  they have provided me with the glimpses of flow i need to make it impossible to deny how capable we are to really do it on our own.

maybe weed and wine are amazing...but i think running is better...

i think...

haha

check out the chemical brother's music video for star guitar.  soundtrack to life...the beat matches the environment.  and, although this may have been one of my stoner obsessions in college...it just seems so applicable here.  when your inner music and your outer world combine...there's nothing like it.  maybe this can be a starting point...

oh, and PLEASE, put headphones on

to the flow!